I’m sorry to hear you had a poor experience getting set up on Render, but to answer your questions:
You can always kill a current deploy from the service’s overview page by clicking the “Manual Deploy” button and choosing an option. This will cancel the current deploy and start a new one. One of the options is to clear the build cache which might help with a hanging cache download in the future.
The 2 hour hanging deploy is definitely atypical if you want to share the service name I’ll take a closer look and see if I can find what went wrong here.
The default timeout for builds is 15 minutes. If your application doesn’t open a port or respond to a health check in that time we should mark the deploy as failed. Since that didn’t happen we will have to do some digging to see what went wrong.
We are always working to make Render more reliable and I hope this helps alleviate some of your concerns.