Totally understandable. We’re actively working on a project right now to provide a more flexible database product (with read replicas, more control over superuser settings, etc.), but for now if you need more control, using a different database solution is the right call.
If you want to keep everything hosted on Render, you could spin up your database as a private service with a persistent disk, but that would mean you’re more responsible for the database maintenance than you would be with a third-party hosted solution.